Creative

Is the glass half full or half empty?

This question is near universally accepted as an easy way to ask, "Are you an optimist or a pessimist?"  However, like a lemon a day, I like to think a bit outside the box.  So, let us take a trip down the alleyway of alleged glasses, what they might possibly contain, and, of course, big words (What can I say?  I like big words and I cannot lie)

To start with what is the glass full (or empty) of?  Is it poison?  Perhaps half of the poisonous substance being removed might save me from the affects of the poison, therefore I would, with all the optimism of a child running after the ice cream man with nothing but a quarter, say that the glass is half empty!

How big is the glass?  Is it a beer bottle?  Perhaps I just had a drinking contest with a crime lord  (as teenage bloggers do just every other Tuesday) and I'm on my twelve glass and I optimistically say, "It's half empty?"

Am I pouring liquid in or out of the glass?  Maybe I'm not the one adding/subtracting water at all!  Maybe the glass is collecting rain water for me as it drips from an unfortunate attempt at DIY popcorn ceiling removal.  Then I think that I could quite pessimistically say, "The glass is half full, Ma, is the plumber ever going to get here?"  And my mother can realistically shake her head.  No.  They are not going to get here.  It will take three calls and at least four hours of Hawaiian waiting music to get the plumber to actually get to wherever here might be.

There are other ways of looking at the question, of course.  The "realist" might say that there's no difference between half empty and half fully. After all, if you add 1/2 to zero, its no different than if subtracted 1/2 from one.  However, I think there is a fourth way to answer this question, and that is with creativity, sarcasm, and just a touch of 'outside the box'.  To delve on such an artistic journey is to enter a magical gate way, a puffy pastel gate way tended to by the cherubim of "I don't actually care" and besieged by angry realists who don't, perhaps can't, understand that humour is just another way of dealing with a single, hypothetical glass of...

Seriously, did we ever establish what liquid is in the glass?

Did we even establish that it IS a liquid?!?! *GASP*

Seriously though, if you are a realist, an optimist, a pessimist, or a devout member of the creative castle, your view on the world is just as valid as everybody else's.  Everyone has their own story and people see things differently no matter what!  Pessimists  are "right or pleasantly surprised." Optimists are free from habitual worrying.  Realists always have the facts, and what facts cannot be obtained, you betcha they will find a way to make a spreadsheet for it.  And as for you, pastel fortress warriors, keep making jokes.  Keep not taking things as seriously as you "should".  Keep making people smile.  Because seriously, the world would be so much more gloomy without you.

Or is that a pessimistic view?

Until next time, and have a great day :)

Lemonade

When life gives you lemons....
You....
Make jokes about a random phrase?

When Life Gives You Lemons:  A List of Various "Inaccurate" Responses that Ask Much Better Questions than the Original

• Complain about the lemons
• Make poisoned lemonade to give back to Life
• Ask why Life is suddenly an anthropomorphic creature that's handing out lemons like its Halloween at the citrus farm
• Throw them back
• Throw them back at Life and demand chocolate
• Throw them back and demand a Black Widow movie (did ya hear they're making one? Did you, did you, did you?  Ahhhhhh I'm so excited!!)
• Throw them back and demand limes like what's up with this citrus racism HMMM?
• Plant a lemon tree. Tree grows more lemons.  More trees.  More lemons.  Sell lemons.  Make millions off of lemon production.  Donate and dedicate your life to charity.  Retire and ask Life over for tea.
• Speaking of tea, when life gives you lemons, care for your sore throat with some nice lemon flavored tea
• Mop your floors with lemon scented solution (I mean that's gotta help with something.  Any essential oil illuminati members out there?  What does lemon do for you?)
• Sell lemonade jugs to little kids at a reduced price so they can guilt strangers into buying their lemonade, thereby making the general public a couple quarters poorer and those kids think that lemonade stands are an actual viable business
• Eat the lemon
• Eat the lemon whole
• Make Life respect you as you eat a lemon without flinching.  You are now the king of life
• Start a lemon vlog channel
• Paint the lemons and post it on Pinterest under the guise as a "quick and easy, super fun DIY for kids!"
• Politely return the lemons
• Direct a movie using only lemon actors (knowing the internet, it's probably on YouTube.  Also knowing the internet, I wouldn't search for it)
• and finally:
• Sit Life down (preferably with that soothing lemon tea and a nice blanket) and ask them why they have sO MANY DAMN LEMONS WHY?!  CALM YO SELF LIFE

Ha lemon jokes for life!  Ok but to be honest, this whole blog post was just an excuse to show you a drawing brought to you by none other than fetus me.  For context, I took this picture in 2015 on an iPod touch.  Ew.

I totally still want this on a shirt.  Let me know it I should put it on a shirt.

I'm putting it on a shirt.

Before I impulse buy 200 #HaveALemon shirts, I hope you enjoyed this post!  Comment below telling me what "When life gives you lemons..." responses I missed (Because I'm sure there's more.  There's always more) and as always, have a wonderful day.  Bye!