Weird Subconscious Fears (Part One)

1. There'll one be a deadly house fire and when my parents say grab whatever is most valuable to me, I'll grab my iPad.  And I'll be forever judged by the fact that everything else I owned burned down and I risked my life for a Gen. 2 iPad with a cracked screen.
2. Alternatively: I won't be able to decide what to grab and it won't be the fire that kills but my indecision.
3. Alternatively: I escape the fire but get killed by hyenas/jaguars.  Not sure where this one came from but it's caused all kinds of funky nightmares.
4. The garage door is going to one day malfunction and chop me in half.  This fear made me terrified to leave the car before the garage door closed for a full year before I finally got over it.
5. Grasshoppers.  That's all.  I hate grasshoppers.
6. Seriously, grasshoppers.  I fear them so much.  It takes me ten minutes to kill one without screaming.

I'm Going To Hell (Again)

Sup everybody!
So today I was sweeping our front porch (it's part of my chores okay) and I saw a line of ants.  You know, when they're following a trail to food and back and they're all over the place but they're going and coming from the same location.  Anyway....I was like, oh, I need to sweep over there.

So I swept half the ants away.

Half the ants were freaking out because their sisters vanished in front of them.  (useless science fact: all worker aunts are female.  Males are utterly useless, flying around and then mating with a queen and dying, because they can't feed/fend for themselves)

The other half of the aunts were freaking out because I had swept them away from the trail and WE'RE LOST FOREVER WE'RE LOST FOREVER.

And me?

I just cackled evilly and continued with my day.  >:)