Adventures with Kids (Episode 4)

Girl #1:  Do you have a boyfriend?
Me:  No.  Remember, you were very shocked about that?
#1:  Oh yeah.  When are you getting one?
Me:  *glare*
#2:  Yeah, when are you?
Me:  Next time I go to the store, I'll be sure to buy one
#1:  oh okay

* a little while later *

#1:  What are you going to name him?
Me:  Chris Evans

Adventures with Kids (Episode 3)

(Completely out of the blue, with no warning or pretense) Girl #2: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me:  No
#2:  Why not?
Me: *no answer*
#1: Aren't you an old person?
Me:  I'm 15
#1:  Yeah, an old person.  So why don't you have a boyfriend?
Me:  haven't met the right guy yet
#3:  What if we found you the right guy?
Me:  um
#3:  Here, take this pen.  This is your boyfriend.
#1:  His name is Tim
#3:  Now kiss him
Me:  ...let's get back to the lesson

Adventures with Kids (Episode 2)

I always art tutor on request - they request something, and I teach them how to draw it, repeat, for an hour a week.  They get entertainment and babysitting, I get paid...it's a pretty sweet gig.  The only sad part is the questions I have to put up with.

On this particular occassion, Girl #1 had reqested...a pug.  We finished up and she looked at her drawing and just let out this awful squealling noise before hugging her notebook.

Me: ???
Girl #2:  She does that
Girl #3:  She gets pug happy
#1: I T S JUST SO C U T E!!!!!
Me:  ...okay then
#2:  I'm that way about- about, um, about-
#3:  I like seals
#2:  puppies.  No, not really puppies, just kittens, munchkin kittens-
#3:  Or dolphins
#2:  yeah, just munchkin kittens, dogs, and chickens
#3:  What do you get happy about
Me: ...
Me: I get bucky barnes happy
#1:  what's bucky barnes?
#2:  what do you do when you see one?
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: mostly cry

Adventures with Kids

There's these little girls that I give art lessons...they say some strange, strange things, and I decided it was time to write down the funniest.  (Girl #1 and 2 are both eight and #3 is six, in case you were wondering)

Girl #1:  Do you have a phone?
Me:  No
Girl #2:  Why not?  I have a phone
Girl #3:  Yeah same
Girl #1:  Do you parents not want you to have a phone?  Is that why?
Me:  Actually, they'd let me get a phone...if I wanted one
#2:  Why don't you want a phone?
Me:  I don't find them useful
#1:  But-
Me:  Everything a phone does, my computer can do
#3:  Wh-wh-wh-what about calling people?  A computer can't do that?
Me:  We have a home phone
#3:  Oh
#1:  But what if your home phone is stolen
Me:  There's six of them, it's highly unlikely
#2:  But what if they're ALL stolen
Me:  Then I can use my mom's cell phone

*there is silence for a while*

#2:  what about when you get married and you need to make a call?
Me: ...
Me: ...I think I'll have a phone by the time I get married

Neighbors

I was lucky enough to get a near-da-corner home when I moved into our new home.  Our neighbors are friendly, there's always cars passing, and it's just a generally cute little area.  I hope it remains that way for all eternity.

However, sometimes, leaving the house makes me feel like Belle in Beauty and the Beast, like 'BONJOUR, GOOD DAY, BE OUR GUEST BE OUR GUEST' and I just stand there like 'I just want to check my mail let me be free'.  I mentioned this to the next door neighbor and he said that he was just as a-social as me.  Good to know that there's some one out there that's just as confused by the musical-type friendlness that is our neighborhood.

Side note:  I really do like my neighbors.  They're just...outdoorsy, energetic, friendly, and all that nonsense.