60 Second Reviews

Sooooo we're moving.

It's only my tenth move I don't care or anything.

Anyway, this being our "final" move, we've been going through all our stuff and I mean ALL our stuff, including all the crappy wii games of my youth.  I decided to do quick, in fact, sixty second, reviews of every one of them.  Just warning you now though... most of them ain't good.  Like me's grammar.

Let's get started!

Spore Hero:  A semi fun game about collecting body “parts”, saving your alien friends, and defeating a comically evil demon from space.  Prepare to be frustrated over mini games that you MUST complete, not have adequate “parts” to complete battles, and be generally bored by the second or third level.
2/5 stars. Helped me entertain small children once.

Creative

Is the glass half full or half empty?

This question is near universally accepted as an easy way to ask, "Are you an optimist or a pessimist?"  However, like a lemon a day, I like to think a bit outside the box.  So, let us take a trip down the alleyway of alleged glasses, what they might possibly contain, and, of course, big words (What can I say?  I like big words and I cannot lie)

To start with what is the glass full (or empty) of?  Is it poison?  Perhaps half of the poisonous substance being removed might save me from the affects of the poison, therefore I would, with all the optimism of a child running after the ice cream man with nothing but a quarter, say that the glass is half empty!

How big is the glass?  Is it a beer bottle?  Perhaps I just had a drinking contest with a crime lord  (as teenage bloggers do just every other Tuesday) and I'm on my twelve glass and I optimistically say, "It's half empty?"

Am I pouring liquid in or out of the glass?  Maybe I'm not the one adding/subtracting water at all!  Maybe the glass is collecting rain water for me as it drips from an unfortunate attempt at DIY popcorn ceiling removal.  Then I think that I could quite pessimistically say, "The glass is half full, Ma, is the plumber ever going to get here?"  And my mother can realistically shake her head.  No.  They are not going to get here.  It will take three calls and at least four hours of Hawaiian waiting music to get the plumber to actually get to wherever here might be.

There are other ways of looking at the question, of course.  The "realist" might say that there's no difference between half empty and half fully. After all, if you add 1/2 to zero, its no different than if subtracted 1/2 from one.  However, I think there is a fourth way to answer this question, and that is with creativity, sarcasm, and just a touch of 'outside the box'.  To delve on such an artistic journey is to enter a magical gate way, a puffy pastel gate way tended to by the cherubim of "I don't actually care" and besieged by angry realists who don't, perhaps can't, understand that humour is just another way of dealing with a single, hypothetical glass of...

Seriously, did we ever establish what liquid is in the glass?

Did we even establish that it IS a liquid?!?! *GASP*

Seriously though, if you are a realist, an optimist, a pessimist, or a devout member of the creative castle, your view on the world is just as valid as everybody else's.  Everyone has their own story and people see things differently no matter what!  Pessimists  are "right or pleasantly surprised." Optimists are free from habitual worrying.  Realists always have the facts, and what facts cannot be obtained, you betcha they will find a way to make a spreadsheet for it.  And as for you, pastel fortress warriors, keep making jokes.  Keep not taking things as seriously as you "should".  Keep making people smile.  Because seriously, the world would be so much more gloomy without you.

Or is that a pessimistic view?

Until next time, and have a great day :)

Lemonade

When life gives you lemons....
You....
Make jokes about a random phrase?

When Life Gives You Lemons:  A List of Various "Inaccurate" Responses that Ask Much Better Questions than the Original

• Complain about the lemons
• Make poisoned lemonade to give back to Life
• Ask why Life is suddenly an anthropomorphic creature that's handing out lemons like its Halloween at the citrus farm
• Throw them back
• Throw them back at Life and demand chocolate
• Throw them back and demand a Black Widow movie (did ya hear they're making one? Did you, did you, did you?  Ahhhhhh I'm so excited!!)
• Throw them back and demand limes like what's up with this citrus racism HMMM?
• Plant a lemon tree. Tree grows more lemons.  More trees.  More lemons.  Sell lemons.  Make millions off of lemon production.  Donate and dedicate your life to charity.  Retire and ask Life over for tea.
• Speaking of tea, when life gives you lemons, care for your sore throat with some nice lemon flavored tea
• Mop your floors with lemon scented solution (I mean that's gotta help with something.  Any essential oil illuminati members out there?  What does lemon do for you?)
• Sell lemonade jugs to little kids at a reduced price so they can guilt strangers into buying their lemonade, thereby making the general public a couple quarters poorer and those kids think that lemonade stands are an actual viable business
• Eat the lemon
• Eat the lemon whole
• Make Life respect you as you eat a lemon without flinching.  You are now the king of life
• Start a lemon vlog channel
• Paint the lemons and post it on Pinterest under the guise as a "quick and easy, super fun DIY for kids!"
• Politely return the lemons
• Direct a movie using only lemon actors (knowing the internet, it's probably on YouTube.  Also knowing the internet, I wouldn't search for it)
• and finally:
• Sit Life down (preferably with that soothing lemon tea and a nice blanket) and ask them why they have sO MANY DAMN LEMONS WHY?!  CALM YO SELF LIFE

Ha lemon jokes for life!  Ok but to be honest, this whole blog post was just an excuse to show you a drawing brought to you by none other than fetus me.  For context, I took this picture in 2015 on an iPod touch.  Ew.

I totally still want this on a shirt.  Let me know it I should put it on a shirt.

I'm putting it on a shirt.

Before I impulse buy 200 #HaveALemon shirts, I hope you enjoyed this post!  Comment below telling me what "When life gives you lemons..." responses I missed (Because I'm sure there's more.  There's always more) and as always, have a wonderful day.  Bye!

From the Archives: Dear Adults (Episode 1)

Hi guys!!!

It's another archive post.  This was originally posted on a blog blog written by all teenagers, some soon to be adults - although I don't really get that.  Are 17 year olds supposed to wake up one day and be like, "Oh goodie, now I'm an adult!  Time to pay taxes, go to college, get a job, and search for a potential mate before my family buys me cats and/or tries to set me up with a snot-nose who's twice my age!"

Yup.

Fair warning, this new blog post series will be pretty much made up of extremely unnecessarily judgmental rants directed in adults' direction.  Sorry.  (Except I'm not.  Writing this post was so fun.)

Today's edition of Dear Adults is discussing that hallowed, decrepit phrase - "these are the best years of your life, so enjoy 'em!"

*Teenagers everywhere shudder*

First of all, this phrase makes me think of aunts who smell like cats and cigarette smoke and bake you oatmeal raisin cookies that you're forced to gag down because your mother is giving you this look:

The "Be polite now because we're in public and I can't kill you yet" look

(she posed for this.  Thanks Mom)

OR, a distant friend of your mom's, with two bratty kids and a screaming baby who they call "their little cupcake".  You barely know this woman and had the misfortune of running into her in like, the commissary.  (Or the grocery store, for you civilians)

These are NOT good images people.

Secondly.......WHAT?!

These are the best years of my life?!  Just what do you think a teenagers life is actually like?  Let's take a step back now and look at the teenager's mind.  Like literally, what is going on up there?

I know, for me, I'm stressed over school, wondering if I should get a job (and if I can balance my hobbies with money-making and not be miserable), concerned about where I'm going and what I should do with my life, worried that my dreams will never come true and I'll be staggering around in a land fill begging the pigeons for food when I'm 40 because I got an B- on that quiz last week instead of a A.  Teenagers are, in general, an emotional mess, drenched in rampant hormones they don't know how to deal with, and are covered in pressure - and not just peer pressure, but pressure from their teachers, parents, coaches, extracurriculars, A.P. classes, bosses, etc.

Ah, to be young and carefree!

So maybe I'm happy - which is what I'm guessing this phrase is implying, because otherwise, what the heck, thanks jerk for reminding my how sad, lonely, and miserable my life is going to be.  So maybe I'm just content to allow life to happen and feel the breeze and the auras around me and wow the sun is so beautiful!!

(no, I'm not a hippie.  I've never met a hippie teenager.  Peace, yo)

Anyway, even if I'm happy...these are the best years of my life!?

My life?!!?

Human life expectancy is about 80 years of age and stretching with every scientific discovery about genetics and what we're made of (and dropping every time a new Burger King joint opens its doors)  These are the best years of my life?  I won't enjoy my 20s or my 50s or my 80s or any other time as much as my tumultuous, miserable teenage years?  There won't be a single day where I'm sitting in a rocking chair in my 60s as the summer breeze drifts around me,my one year old grandchild asleep in my lap like an adorable squishy couch potato, and I say, "This is the best time of my life,"?

This is not promising.  Or encouraging, or cute, or 'enjoy-it'-inducing, or whatever the heck was supposed to be.

This is a threat.

It is literally promising that no matter how sucky life is at the moment, heh, it's only downhill from here!  Have fun with our 19.4 TRILLION dollar national debt, the responsibility of figuring out whether humans are actually melting the planet or if that's just political hype, plague, famine, pestilence, World War 3, and Trump (or Clinton.  Either way:

Conclusion: This phrase is so insulting on so many levels I'm surprise it even became a thing.  It was probably invented by the same guy who put the 's' in lisp.  And puts sharp corners on hip-height furniture.

Diagnosis:  Destroy it!  If an adult ever says this to you teens, feel free to slap them, with a fridge, or something lighter, like a scorpion.  Or let loose the fire of hell and tell them a thing or two (you can quote me!  I won't sue)

Or you can just force an awkward laugh and nod politely before exiting like a sweatshirt-ed ninja.

Since that's what we're doing anyway.

Sincerely,

Teens.

P.S.

I hope it was extremely clear that I meant this post to be as ridiculously sarcastic and offensively scathing as possible and that it was clear that I didn't literally mean to point fingers at anyone.  If you think this was too mean, tell me in the comments below.  Or complain to your friends about how weird and offensive this blog post was and give them a link.

Teens - tell me what Dear Adults I should do next!

Adults - Please stop telling kids that these are the best years of our life.

Literally, I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings.

Bye!  See you next week!

Spam

Spam emails are ridiculous.  I know that my account automatically deletes spam emails after 30 days, but I like to go through there every once and a while just for laughs, because seriously, they're so ridiculous!  Not only do some pretend to be people I know and fail in every possible way, they also seem to think that I am a forty to sixty year old man who is sad that they are forty to sixty years old, a socially awkward teenaged guy in desperate "need" of some bow chick a wow wow, or a 30 something mother with an arsenal of coupons on a mission to give customer service workers everywhere a head ache and a half.  Allow me to demonstrate.

Exhibit A: the "friend"
This person uses a name that seems to be a name that's commonly associated with your email.  It's clever, because you think for a moment that you did get an email from your BFF!  And then you open the email and it reverts to:

Exhibit B:  the "friend 😏😏 if ya know what I mean"
These are the gross emails you get that make you feel like you should probably start attending daily mass.  I find these minimally amusing because tag lines include "I had so much fun last night, we should do it again" and "are you that guy from the club last Friday?".  Riiiiiiight.  As a writer who spends Fridays night at Barnes n Noble drinking over priced coffee, this spammer could not be farther off the mark if they tried.

Exhibit C:  the Absolute Screw Up
This email messes everything up, in every conceivable manner.  The best example I have is the 12 identical emails I got from literally "Jane Smith" (real creative there)   Each was titled, "Why haven't you answered my texts".  Plausible enough....  And then, the actual email says, "Hey, you emailed me, do we know each other?"
Nuff said about that.

Exhibit D:  the Dating Simulator
Similar to B, this email advertises the best dating website ever, filled with women who are timid, sexually active, slam dunk hot, 'exotic', and so desperate that they'll date you no matter what colour your fedora is or how misogynistic  you are!  I'm... stunned.  Where is this army of women in real life?  
Haha.
Nowhere.
 
Exhibit E:  The Ironic
"Check for pedophiles in your area", "Keep the net safe for your kids", and "Find out if he's cheating on you with an 'Internet friend'" all fall under this category.  There's also 'official' government announcements that misspell the word government, defense, and judicial.  A+

Exhibit F:  The "Midas Touch"
I call this one the Midas Touch because it seems golden and amazing and a beautiful, pure email that is mixed in with the mud.  It is the email from somebody you actually know, with information that is relevant to you... 6 months ago.  This golden email is useless.  The Midas Touch ruins all.  This email is over half a year old, and it needed a response in a week.  You can never go in public again.  Avoid email sender at all costs.  Change your name to Merida and move to Scotland.  All is lost!

So yeah, that's my thoughts on spam!  Did I miss any important categories?  Do I think about this way too much for a normal human being?  I probably do XD. Tell me how lame I am in the comments, I'll probably find an email notification in my spam folder in three years.  Thanks for reading, and see you next time!

PS
Look up 'Scamalot / James Veitch " on YouTube.  You will not be disappointed :D

From the Archives: What To Do When an Essay Says 'Screw You'

Hi guys!
As many of you know, I've recently switched blogs.  There are a couple posts I actually really like, and I've decided to repost them on here.  Don't worry, I won't be spamming, it'll be posted over time, bit by bit.  This is the first part of it!  I hope you like it.  Today I Met presents:  What To Do When an Essay Says 'Screw You!'


***


Somewhere,
In a distant land, probably the living room, my mother is being scandalized by my language in this blog post title (sorry mom)  Anyway, today we are going to talk about that essay.  Yes, that one.  The one where you read the prompt and just want to repeatedly slam your head against the desk because you already know that this essay is going to be the dullest one in the history ever.

:(

No, today is not a complaining post (although my brain and wacked up emotions want it to be).  Today, we're going to go through the steps to...well, maybe not ROCK this essay, but at least survive it.

Alllllrighty.

Step 1:  Write an outline
Yes, I know, outlines suck. But this will make fleshing out your essay much easier.  Find out your essay's word limits and assign each paragraph a number of words.  This will help, trust me.

Step 2:  Flesh it out
Believe it or not, this is the easiest bit.  Write those paragraphs (and you don't have to be A-B-C but in the order you want/feel like writing.  This is called dessert writing, and many authors prefer this method!)  Try to stick with the word limit, but it's okay to go over a couple (hundred).  And remember, this is the time to give this essay personality.  Make it  yours and don't worry too much about it.

Step 3:  Editing Part 1
If you have time immediately after writing, then go back.  Fix grammar and spelling mistakes.  Cut extraneous material, but leave that creativity in!  And keep  ignoring that word count.

Step 4:  Your soul dies Editing Part 2
Step away.  Do something else.  If you can, wait till the next day.  NOW:

This is the hard part, when you have to look at your essay as a teacher and answer the questions they're going to ask themselves when they're grading this.

Does this essay cover the material?  Make sure in your rambles, you haven't gone off topic.  Read the prompt again.  Read your essay.  Be honest when yourself as you figure out what doesn't belong.

Is this essay fundamentally correct?  No, I'm not talking about your opinions.  I mean, formatting, grammar, and spelling.  Most high school teachers call for MLA formatting.  It sucks and looks stupid, but teachers love that format.

Ahem.

Also, listen up buttercup:

"Comma inside the quote," she said.  "And Around Short Story Titles.  Unless It's a Longer Book Title."

You claim you're not good with grammar?  You need to improve your skills.

That's their toy.

Give it to them, over there.

They're going to beat you over the head if you don't.

Its tail.  (possessive.  The tail that belongs to it)

It's a tail (it is a tail)

There, now none of your stupid excuses!  You've got nothing to hide behind.

Back on subject.

Is this essay formal?  It maybe dry, but you have to be formal in an essay UNLESS specifically instructed not to.  This means:

• Cutting words like 'kids'.  Use 'children' instead.
• Not using 1st Or 2nd person.  Instead one should use the term one when asserting one's opinion.  (I know, it doesn't make sense to me either.)

Alright!  You may feel yourself dying inside, but your essay is complete!  Now, do not stress about it!  You've finished it up as best you can.  Stress is bad for you.  Drink tea instead.

You deserved it ;)

(see you next week)

Poems (continued)

More poetry for you lovely folks!  I hope you like these lol.  I will be posting some more substantial content later (lots of movie reviews and people descriptions) but for now, it's just little snippit poems for you :)

Rage

I wrote about my rage
I wrote it real polite
With fancy words
And a smile on my lips
But a bow on a box
Doesn't make it any less of a coffin

***

Bubble

If you lived in a bubble
Far outside of time
Would you spend your days enjoying your world
Or trying to get back to mine?

***

Don't

Don't ask questions
Don't disrespect your elders
Don't question authority
Are all rules
That I cannot seem to follow
Guess I'm not a good student

***

Respect Your Elders

Oh dear
Golly gee
How old do I have to be
Before I'm not 'acting inappropriately'
And I can remind kids
That they should respect me?

Poems

I've been trying to get my thoughts together as of late and I found out that short poems are often a good way to so!  Forgive my horrible rhymning skills, but I thought that some of these were cute and wanted to share them:

Too Busy Dreaming

Tick Tock

Time slips away

I reach for the future

Straining

But here I must stay

My feet on the ground

My head in the clouds

With people throwing darts saying,

"Hey!  Come back down!"

***

Demon Girl

I am a demon girl

With slitted eyes and fangs for teeth

I am a demon girl

Who chases after what she cannot reach

I am a demon girl

I ask questions and I wear skirts

Both are bad, trust in God

Go home, you're drunk, little demon girl

***

Help!  Human!

Help!

My writer doesn't like me!

She's getting the eraser

Quick, read me, then she can't-

Ohhhhh no, here it comes

Listen, this is important

The treasure is in the-

Barnes 'n' Noble People: Pt 4

Intro
Pt 2
Pt 3

• A Morgan Freeman doppelganger with a heavily patterned blue shirt and a African style hat who didn’t seem able to stop smiling (he also appeared to be a teacher, as he was red-penning a bunch of students  RIP a lot of kids)
• A rather Aunt style kind of lady with intense eyes hidden behind square framed glasses, greying blonde hair and a sweater with swirling patterns knitted in chatting with the Morgan Freeman guy about retirement and grandkids and the meaning life
• A guy with a baseball jersey-style jacket, a nearly identical t-shirt under that, a leather baseball cap with some kind of logo on it along with several baseball pins, giant black headphones, and a fat gold ring with what looks like a family crest on it.  He was very intently reading something in a binder, though it all looked very boring
• A worker who looks like a modern AU Daenerys from GoT
• Some lady who was honestly way too pretty and perfect to be wandering around in the real world, much less something as normal and boring as Barnes ‘n’ Noble
• A barista who looked like a T’Challa (Black Panther) from a coffee shop AU
• The cutest little girl in a stroller, smiling and babbling about something to her mom, wrapped up in a blanket with a pom pom hat over her puffy hair.  I almost died of cute when her mom called her ‘my ladybug’

Updates

Hey guys, sorry I haven't been all that active recently, I've been dealing with some stuff on my other blog, International Bffs.  Fortunately though, I'll be able to put some more effort into this blog now, because I've stepped away from International Bffs permanantly.  I'd still suggest reading it and supporting the new management, but yours truly won't be making any appearances.

Because of this change, I'll be making this blog my main blog for all my ramblings and reviews and theories.  Yup, that means change (*screaming in the distance*)  Here are some of the updates to look out for in the future!

• NOT:  an end to my people series, especially not the Barnes 'n' Noble people
• NOT:  a big deviation from what I meant this blog to be about in the first place
• Reposted stuff from my old blog
• Dear Adults!  Y'all are going to love this series
• Probably more reviews and theories, specifically about Marvel

Like I said, not too many changes!  Hopefully you like the updates and new stuff, and have a great day!

The Art of a 15 Minute Walk

1.  Silence your phone, but do bring it with you
2. If there's things weighing on your mind, write them down and then forget about them.  A walk doesn't do you any good if you can't focus on it
3. Dress appropriately - if it's cold, wear a coat.  If you're freezing, that's all you'll be able to focus on
4. Walk with a dog.  You can take a friend if you want, but then you'll want to talk.  A dog will force you to stop every so often so they can sniff and you can look around, enjoying this wonderful world
5. Look for something new everyday - a pretty fall leaf, a lady bug, the PTA moms doing their lunges down the sidewalk.  It doesn't have to be out of place or unusual to catch your eye
6. Don't let it go over, especially if you've got things to get done, but try to walk the full fifteen minutes every time
7. Soak in the sun light, if you can
8. Walking the same route everyday can allow you to see new little changes (this is especially good during the fall and spring)  Alternatively, walking a different route allows you to discover new things every time
9. Walk everyday
10. And finally, don't take a blog's word for it:  go out and see your corner of the world

Barnes 'n' Noble People: Pt. 3

Horray for Friday nights


Intro

Part 2

• The elderly couple carrying off loads of reduced price, cold brew coffee makers
• The eleven-something year old boy with a chocolate frappuccino, enthusiastically reading a car catalogue in the cafe.  You do you, kid.  You do you.
• That one Barnes ‘n’ Noble employee that insists you don’t bring any outside food or drink (whereas, every other employee literally does not care.  C’mon man, I just wanted to drink my soda in peace, I don’t have the weekly budget to buy your overpriced frappa-frickin’-chino, a.k.a. legalized addictives)
• The one couple with two laptops, an ice tea and a coffee, and five or six notebooks, quietly discussing something in serious tones (they’re either school teachers or assassins, there is no other option here)
• The one over-hassled Barnes ‘n’ Noble employee attempting to help the elderly couple who are taking off with all the coffee makers.
• The one creepy guy who’s always in the corner and felt the need to whistle loud enough for the whole store to hear when he went up to order a coffee. And yes, I can say with authority that he is "always" here, because I come to this store often enough to know :|

Who did you meet today?

Oktoberfest

Every year, our church has a big fundraiser in the form of an Oktoberfest.  Of course, it's not really an Oktoberfest, it's a bunch of Americans drinking beer and saying, 'See, we're German!' (they didn't even play Sweet Caroline :< )  We volunteered to help out; me at the face painting booth (with Mom as a manager), and Dad at the beer tent.  We had...an interesting night and met some definite characters:

• The previous shift of face painters, who seemed to think this job was the easiest thing in the world (the first shift is always really easy.  Then other kids start seeing the kids with their face painted and BAM)
• Literally dozens of parents forcing their unwilling three year old to sit down, hold still, the nice lady's going to paint a butterfly on your face so I can post a cute instagram, now SHUSH
• The black girl with a glitter skull tshirt that shyly asked me for Wonder Woman face paint.  She makes me feel happy inside :)
• When the kids don't know what they want, I usually try to speed up the process with some prompting of, "How about the butterfly?  It'd match your shirt, wouldn't it?"  One tiny little girl, after this prompting, fiercly declared, "NO.  I want SPIDERMAN."  She was the only girl that I gave super hero face paint (that was not Wonder Woman)
• The group -group?  Squad?  Gaggle? -of 9y.o.ish girls who decided it'd be a good idea to start complaining about how awful face painting was and how face painters were always so annoying while standing right next to me.  I thought this very brave of them, considering the face that I was going to be painting them next and we didn't have a mirror >:)  (no, I didn't paint anything bad on their face.  ....or did I ehehehe)
• The one mother who decided to smoke while standing in our tent
• The posh, professory-voiced man who walked past, explaining to his wife, "Now this is a religious festival, darling-"  I didn't catch the rest but it sounded like he was about to explain how we'd have a fascinating virgin sacrifice later to end off the celebration

I ended up having to go over-shift, since the next shift never showed up, and painted for three hours instead of my originally volunteered two. By the time it was over, I was sore and weak kneed, but a pretzel and a poorly cooked hot dog later, I was home, content and writing this blog post.

Who did you meet today?

P.S.

3 hours of face painting and this was the only personal paint I have to show for it:

Neighbors (New and Improved)

Summer is always a time of change.  More specifically, it's the time of moving trucks and new faces.  A lot of our neighborhood moved over the summer and now our new people are moving in.

We've got the people to the left of us, who have two identical minivans and two girls I will only describe as "the lemonade stand girls".  They also have a dog who is fond of taking himself for walks and a cat that I refer to as Watermelon, since that its approximent size and shape.

Catty corner to us, we have the pair of husbands with the cute white chairs on their front porch and the fluffy dog.  They are mysteriously never home.

Across, we've got the sporty, outdoorsy, adopt-everybody family, who are lovely and also never home. They've got the cute little three year old who wants nothing more to keep up with her big football playing brothers and the mom who, despite being perpetually tired out, mothers every kid in the neighborhood and throws the best block parties ever.

Opposite catty corner is a new family that are only just now moving in.  I'm calling them the Vampire Family.

And then next to us we have the other three year old (who's learning to ride her first big-kid bike right now), the day-working military mum, and the ten year old boy who plays saxaphone in the street in the evenings.

Neighbors are weird, man.

Who did you meet today?

P.S.
I had to look up, "Is it kitty corner or catty corner," because my mom thought it must be, 'kitty'.   Apparently, 'kitty', 'catty', and 'cater' corner are all acceptable, while 'caddy' is not.  #TheMoreYouKnow

Barnes 'n' Noble People: Pt 2

Click here for part one

• The guy with the haircut I would describe as a cross between “weed wacker” and “friendly hedgehog”, telling a long-winded stories about chicks (no, not the bird) to an semi-unwilling looking guy wearing an unfortunate shade of yellow
• A teenage girl with the poofiest dark hair, a coral business jacket and a beautiful floral skirt, and a cat headband who is now my fashion model for the next forever
• The poor, poor tutor that has to put up with a student who hasn’t just mastered the art of procrastinating, he’s destroyed it and become the next-gen procrastinator
• The barista’s face when he heard my mom ask for a pumpkin spice latte
• The guy whose hair was longer than mine and was at least twice my height (not literally; he’d have to be  really tall).  His arm was a sleeve of twisted tattoos; he was wearing a skull-emblazoned t-shirt, punk boots, and skinny jeans, and honestly looking so much more fabulous than me

Who did you meet today?

People You See at Barnes n Noble (An On-Going List)

Sometimes you don't see people who are that weird.  Other times...you see somebody you could only define as, "a character".  I see many of these, "characters," and decided to start writing them down, because... reasons.  Here's the ones I saw, just today:

• The balding man with reading glasses and sunglasses, a no-sleeve cameo shirt, running shorts, and crocs with mix-matched socks reading “The Art of War” (he also had a stack of other books, including history books on both World Wars)
• The equally balding man who sat behind me for 2+ hours reading the same copy of Top Gear, held within inches of his face
• The two black women who loudly marched in, yelled, “OH MY GAWD” when they realized Barnes and Noble was out of cookies (note: this was at 8:30 on a Friday night), complained for five minutes about the apparently lack of cookies and how, “I didn’t need a cookie but oh my gawd I wanted one so bad,” and then abruptly left
• The 20-something blonde who bought a grande coffee and then proceeded to march her stroller around the lobby/cafe space (in four inch heels!) in an attempt to make her crying child sleep (she then left with her presumed husband, chatting about how tired she was)
• Me, who, if you see me, is usually on my laptop, writing (a.k.a. looking frustrated, confused, or hitting my head against the table as I scroll through a document)

Who did you meet today?

Conversation is Sin

I was going through some old files and suddenly remembered a poem I wrote a looong time ago.  Some of it is kind of forced (because I struggle with ryhmning and fluid poetry)  but I think that the message is clear and I wanted to share it with you guys :)



Conversation is Sin

We live in a world where conversation is sin

Can’t speak outside the box that we choose to live in

If others are oppressing us then why don’t we attack

Because we know the demons inside

Would take us as their snack

If our eyesight fails

We blame it on the glasses

Our politicians are blind

Yet

They still lead the masses

Children are getting high

And teenagers are getting drunk

When a kid kills himself

It’s “just hormonal funk”

They say:  He had so much to live for

Something about God closing a door

And then they move on

AND THEN THEY MOVE ON

Like human life

Was made worthless by a knife

And don’t get me started

On the thousands, millions that starve

Can’t find food between the bombs

And the sound of rifle fire

News TV says words like ‘situation’ and ‘dire’

While people are killed

For the cross on their chest

For the people they love

No safe space, no true rest

We can’t talk

They’ve stuffed a gag down our throat

Labeled “everything’s fine”

They hope we don’t see the smoke

Somebody’s going to get offended

And we all shut up

A third world country gets upended

And nobody says a word

We all shake our heads

When we should scream in agony

For the loss of precious life

For the people we can’t see

“Like if you think-”

No shut up!  That’s enough!

You think likes are going to make this any less tough?

We’re not doing anything

Cuz we don’t know what to do

We were taught to ignore

The many and the few

Back to School

The children are wailing
There's fall leaves in the air
And the teachers are struggling
To pretend that they care

The summer has faded
And so has the fun
Now it's time
To get homework done

...My poetry skills need work.  But hey, back to school time!  This really isn't about anyone in particular, it's just a sad ballad for summer days now long lost.  Also, I wanted to showcase all my pretty school supplies because...yeah:

And it all matches!
The two notedbooks to the bottom left (the one with the dogs and the one with the manatee on it) are both completely recycled, which is why they're called, get this, Decomposition Notebooks

In case you were wondering, my reasoning was - English is a (Florida) swampland of complicated grammar and you always hear weird stories; the history one's kinda obvious, it has a very Greek mythological feel to it; and the dog one is because all dogs go to heaven, obviously.

So yeah, sorry for not many "Today I Met" updates lately, I've been....uh....busy.  Yeah, let's go with that (I've been drawing a lot okay).  Cya when I cya!