College

I recently attended my first college class (I need another language credit to graduate and there's no way in hell I'm going to take Latin)  These were... just a handful of my first impressions:

• Half the students didn’t have textbooks. One of them proudly proclaimed “I’m not paying 260 for a fu- a freaking webcode."  (She then turned to me and asked if I had the code)
• About a third of the students were my mom’s age
• One girl at the end of the aisle had all the answers and the loudest voice. I do not like her very much, but can at least admire her persistance.  I'm sure she'll get a good particpation grade
• College students do not give a flying pancake about anything
• The professor looked up the Spanish word for lisp so he could teach us how to ask Spaniards “why do you have a lisp?"
• The professor arrived five minutes late
• One guy came in an hour late. No questions were asked
• One lady went out for a smoke break and accidently got locked out
• The girl next to me said “I studied Spanish for six years. What are we doing.”  (She was nice)
• The other girl next to me signed the class behavior paper while eating Cheetos and checking her phone. I both admire her daring and fear her recklessness

(note:  I drafted this at the beginning of the semester and forgot about it until the end of the semester.  It's been... interesting to say the least)

Creative

Is the glass half full or half empty?

This question is near universally accepted as an easy way to ask, "Are you an optimist or a pessimist?"  However, like a lemon a day, I like to think a bit outside the box.  So, let us take a trip down the alleyway of alleged glasses, what they might possibly contain, and, of course, big words (What can I say?  I like big words and I cannot lie)

To start with what is the glass full (or empty) of?  Is it poison?  Perhaps half of the poisonous substance being removed might save me from the affects of the poison, therefore I would, with all the optimism of a child running after the ice cream man with nothing but a quarter, say that the glass is half empty!

How big is the glass?  Is it a beer bottle?  Perhaps I just had a drinking contest with a crime lord  (as teenage bloggers do just every other Tuesday) and I'm on my twelve glass and I optimistically say, "It's half empty?"

Am I pouring liquid in or out of the glass?  Maybe I'm not the one adding/subtracting water at all!  Maybe the glass is collecting rain water for me as it drips from an unfortunate attempt at DIY popcorn ceiling removal.  Then I think that I could quite pessimistically say, "The glass is half full, Ma, is the plumber ever going to get here?"  And my mother can realistically shake her head.  No.  They are not going to get here.  It will take three calls and at least four hours of Hawaiian waiting music to get the plumber to actually get to wherever here might be.

There are other ways of looking at the question, of course.  The "realist" might say that there's no difference between half empty and half fully. After all, if you add 1/2 to zero, its no different than if subtracted 1/2 from one.  However, I think there is a fourth way to answer this question, and that is with creativity, sarcasm, and just a touch of 'outside the box'.  To delve on such an artistic journey is to enter a magical gate way, a puffy pastel gate way tended to by the cherubim of "I don't actually care" and besieged by angry realists who don't, perhaps can't, understand that humour is just another way of dealing with a single, hypothetical glass of...

Seriously, did we ever establish what liquid is in the glass?

Did we even establish that it IS a liquid?!?! *GASP*

Seriously though, if you are a realist, an optimist, a pessimist, or a devout member of the creative castle, your view on the world is just as valid as everybody else's.  Everyone has their own story and people see things differently no matter what!  Pessimists  are "right or pleasantly surprised." Optimists are free from habitual worrying.  Realists always have the facts, and what facts cannot be obtained, you betcha they will find a way to make a spreadsheet for it.  And as for you, pastel fortress warriors, keep making jokes.  Keep not taking things as seriously as you "should".  Keep making people smile.  Because seriously, the world would be so much more gloomy without you.

Or is that a pessimistic view?

Until next time, and have a great day :)

From the Archives: Dear Adults (Episode 1)

Hi guys!!!

It's another archive post.  This was originally posted on a blog blog written by all teenagers, some soon to be adults - although I don't really get that.  Are 17 year olds supposed to wake up one day and be like, "Oh goodie, now I'm an adult!  Time to pay taxes, go to college, get a job, and search for a potential mate before my family buys me cats and/or tries to set me up with a snot-nose who's twice my age!"

Yup.

Fair warning, this new blog post series will be pretty much made up of extremely unnecessarily judgmental rants directed in adults' direction.  Sorry.  (Except I'm not.  Writing this post was so fun.)

Today's edition of Dear Adults is discussing that hallowed, decrepit phrase - "these are the best years of your life, so enjoy 'em!"

*Teenagers everywhere shudder*

First of all, this phrase makes me think of aunts who smell like cats and cigarette smoke and bake you oatmeal raisin cookies that you're forced to gag down because your mother is giving you this look:

The "Be polite now because we're in public and I can't kill you yet" look

(she posed for this.  Thanks Mom)

OR, a distant friend of your mom's, with two bratty kids and a screaming baby who they call "their little cupcake".  You barely know this woman and had the misfortune of running into her in like, the commissary.  (Or the grocery store, for you civilians)

These are NOT good images people.

Secondly.......WHAT?!

These are the best years of my life?!  Just what do you think a teenagers life is actually like?  Let's take a step back now and look at the teenager's mind.  Like literally, what is going on up there?

I know, for me, I'm stressed over school, wondering if I should get a job (and if I can balance my hobbies with money-making and not be miserable), concerned about where I'm going and what I should do with my life, worried that my dreams will never come true and I'll be staggering around in a land fill begging the pigeons for food when I'm 40 because I got an B- on that quiz last week instead of a A.  Teenagers are, in general, an emotional mess, drenched in rampant hormones they don't know how to deal with, and are covered in pressure - and not just peer pressure, but pressure from their teachers, parents, coaches, extracurriculars, A.P. classes, bosses, etc.

Ah, to be young and carefree!

So maybe I'm happy - which is what I'm guessing this phrase is implying, because otherwise, what the heck, thanks jerk for reminding my how sad, lonely, and miserable my life is going to be.  So maybe I'm just content to allow life to happen and feel the breeze and the auras around me and wow the sun is so beautiful!!

(no, I'm not a hippie.  I've never met a hippie teenager.  Peace, yo)

Anyway, even if I'm happy...these are the best years of my life!?

My life?!!?

Human life expectancy is about 80 years of age and stretching with every scientific discovery about genetics and what we're made of (and dropping every time a new Burger King joint opens its doors)  These are the best years of my life?  I won't enjoy my 20s or my 50s or my 80s or any other time as much as my tumultuous, miserable teenage years?  There won't be a single day where I'm sitting in a rocking chair in my 60s as the summer breeze drifts around me,my one year old grandchild asleep in my lap like an adorable squishy couch potato, and I say, "This is the best time of my life,"?

This is not promising.  Or encouraging, or cute, or 'enjoy-it'-inducing, or whatever the heck was supposed to be.

This is a threat.

It is literally promising that no matter how sucky life is at the moment, heh, it's only downhill from here!  Have fun with our 19.4 TRILLION dollar national debt, the responsibility of figuring out whether humans are actually melting the planet or if that's just political hype, plague, famine, pestilence, World War 3, and Trump (or Clinton.  Either way:

Conclusion: This phrase is so insulting on so many levels I'm surprise it even became a thing.  It was probably invented by the same guy who put the 's' in lisp.  And puts sharp corners on hip-height furniture.

Diagnosis:  Destroy it!  If an adult ever says this to you teens, feel free to slap them, with a fridge, or something lighter, like a scorpion.  Or let loose the fire of hell and tell them a thing or two (you can quote me!  I won't sue)

Or you can just force an awkward laugh and nod politely before exiting like a sweatshirt-ed ninja.

Since that's what we're doing anyway.

Sincerely,

Teens.

P.S.

I hope it was extremely clear that I meant this post to be as ridiculously sarcastic and offensively scathing as possible and that it was clear that I didn't literally mean to point fingers at anyone.  If you think this was too mean, tell me in the comments below.  Or complain to your friends about how weird and offensive this blog post was and give them a link.

Teens - tell me what Dear Adults I should do next!

Adults - Please stop telling kids that these are the best years of our life.

Literally, I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings.

Bye!  See you next week!

Spam

Spam emails are ridiculous.  I know that my account automatically deletes spam emails after 30 days, but I like to go through there every once and a while just for laughs, because seriously, they're so ridiculous!  Not only do some pretend to be people I know and fail in every possible way, they also seem to think that I am a forty to sixty year old man who is sad that they are forty to sixty years old, a socially awkward teenaged guy in desperate "need" of some bow chick a wow wow, or a 30 something mother with an arsenal of coupons on a mission to give customer service workers everywhere a head ache and a half.  Allow me to demonstrate.

Exhibit A: the "friend"
This person uses a name that seems to be a name that's commonly associated with your email.  It's clever, because you think for a moment that you did get an email from your BFF!  And then you open the email and it reverts to:

Exhibit B:  the "friend 😏😏 if ya know what I mean"
These are the gross emails you get that make you feel like you should probably start attending daily mass.  I find these minimally amusing because tag lines include "I had so much fun last night, we should do it again" and "are you that guy from the club last Friday?".  Riiiiiiight.  As a writer who spends Fridays night at Barnes n Noble drinking over priced coffee, this spammer could not be farther off the mark if they tried.

Exhibit C:  the Absolute Screw Up
This email messes everything up, in every conceivable manner.  The best example I have is the 12 identical emails I got from literally "Jane Smith" (real creative there)   Each was titled, "Why haven't you answered my texts".  Plausible enough....  And then, the actual email says, "Hey, you emailed me, do we know each other?"
Nuff said about that.

Exhibit D:  the Dating Simulator
Similar to B, this email advertises the best dating website ever, filled with women who are timid, sexually active, slam dunk hot, 'exotic', and so desperate that they'll date you no matter what colour your fedora is or how misogynistic  you are!  I'm... stunned.  Where is this army of women in real life?  
Haha.
Nowhere.
 
Exhibit E:  The Ironic
"Check for pedophiles in your area", "Keep the net safe for your kids", and "Find out if he's cheating on you with an 'Internet friend'" all fall under this category.  There's also 'official' government announcements that misspell the word government, defense, and judicial.  A+

Exhibit F:  The "Midas Touch"
I call this one the Midas Touch because it seems golden and amazing and a beautiful, pure email that is mixed in with the mud.  It is the email from somebody you actually know, with information that is relevant to you... 6 months ago.  This golden email is useless.  The Midas Touch ruins all.  This email is over half a year old, and it needed a response in a week.  You can never go in public again.  Avoid email sender at all costs.  Change your name to Merida and move to Scotland.  All is lost!

So yeah, that's my thoughts on spam!  Did I miss any important categories?  Do I think about this way too much for a normal human being?  I probably do XD. Tell me how lame I am in the comments, I'll probably find an email notification in my spam folder in three years.  Thanks for reading, and see you next time!

PS
Look up 'Scamalot / James Veitch " on YouTube.  You will not be disappointed :D

Barnes 'n' Noble People: Pt 4

Intro
Pt 2
Pt 3

• A Morgan Freeman doppelganger with a heavily patterned blue shirt and a African style hat who didn’t seem able to stop smiling (he also appeared to be a teacher, as he was red-penning a bunch of students  RIP a lot of kids)
• A rather Aunt style kind of lady with intense eyes hidden behind square framed glasses, greying blonde hair and a sweater with swirling patterns knitted in chatting with the Morgan Freeman guy about retirement and grandkids and the meaning life
• A guy with a baseball jersey-style jacket, a nearly identical t-shirt under that, a leather baseball cap with some kind of logo on it along with several baseball pins, giant black headphones, and a fat gold ring with what looks like a family crest on it.  He was very intently reading something in a binder, though it all looked very boring
• A worker who looks like a modern AU Daenerys from GoT
• Some lady who was honestly way too pretty and perfect to be wandering around in the real world, much less something as normal and boring as Barnes ‘n’ Noble
• A barista who looked like a T’Challa (Black Panther) from a coffee shop AU
• The cutest little girl in a stroller, smiling and babbling about something to her mom, wrapped up in a blanket with a pom pom hat over her puffy hair.  I almost died of cute when her mom called her ‘my ladybug’

Barnes 'n' Noble People: Pt. 3

Horray for Friday nights


Intro

Part 2

• The elderly couple carrying off loads of reduced price, cold brew coffee makers
• The eleven-something year old boy with a chocolate frappuccino, enthusiastically reading a car catalogue in the cafe.  You do you, kid.  You do you.
• That one Barnes ‘n’ Noble employee that insists you don’t bring any outside food or drink (whereas, every other employee literally does not care.  C’mon man, I just wanted to drink my soda in peace, I don’t have the weekly budget to buy your overpriced frappa-frickin’-chino, a.k.a. legalized addictives)
• The one couple with two laptops, an ice tea and a coffee, and five or six notebooks, quietly discussing something in serious tones (they’re either school teachers or assassins, there is no other option here)
• The one over-hassled Barnes ‘n’ Noble employee attempting to help the elderly couple who are taking off with all the coffee makers.
• The one creepy guy who’s always in the corner and felt the need to whistle loud enough for the whole store to hear when he went up to order a coffee. And yes, I can say with authority that he is "always" here, because I come to this store often enough to know :|

Who did you meet today?

Oktoberfest

Every year, our church has a big fundraiser in the form of an Oktoberfest.  Of course, it's not really an Oktoberfest, it's a bunch of Americans drinking beer and saying, 'See, we're German!' (they didn't even play Sweet Caroline :< )  We volunteered to help out; me at the face painting booth (with Mom as a manager), and Dad at the beer tent.  We had...an interesting night and met some definite characters:

• The previous shift of face painters, who seemed to think this job was the easiest thing in the world (the first shift is always really easy.  Then other kids start seeing the kids with their face painted and BAM)
• Literally dozens of parents forcing their unwilling three year old to sit down, hold still, the nice lady's going to paint a butterfly on your face so I can post a cute instagram, now SHUSH
• The black girl with a glitter skull tshirt that shyly asked me for Wonder Woman face paint.  She makes me feel happy inside :)
• When the kids don't know what they want, I usually try to speed up the process with some prompting of, "How about the butterfly?  It'd match your shirt, wouldn't it?"  One tiny little girl, after this prompting, fiercly declared, "NO.  I want SPIDERMAN."  She was the only girl that I gave super hero face paint (that was not Wonder Woman)
• The group -group?  Squad?  Gaggle? -of 9y.o.ish girls who decided it'd be a good idea to start complaining about how awful face painting was and how face painters were always so annoying while standing right next to me.  I thought this very brave of them, considering the face that I was going to be painting them next and we didn't have a mirror >:)  (no, I didn't paint anything bad on their face.  ....or did I ehehehe)
• The one mother who decided to smoke while standing in our tent
• The posh, professory-voiced man who walked past, explaining to his wife, "Now this is a religious festival, darling-"  I didn't catch the rest but it sounded like he was about to explain how we'd have a fascinating virgin sacrifice later to end off the celebration

I ended up having to go over-shift, since the next shift never showed up, and painted for three hours instead of my originally volunteered two. By the time it was over, I was sore and weak kneed, but a pretzel and a poorly cooked hot dog later, I was home, content and writing this blog post.

Who did you meet today?

P.S.

3 hours of face painting and this was the only personal paint I have to show for it:

Neighbors (New and Improved)

Summer is always a time of change.  More specifically, it's the time of moving trucks and new faces.  A lot of our neighborhood moved over the summer and now our new people are moving in.

We've got the people to the left of us, who have two identical minivans and two girls I will only describe as "the lemonade stand girls".  They also have a dog who is fond of taking himself for walks and a cat that I refer to as Watermelon, since that its approximent size and shape.

Catty corner to us, we have the pair of husbands with the cute white chairs on their front porch and the fluffy dog.  They are mysteriously never home.

Across, we've got the sporty, outdoorsy, adopt-everybody family, who are lovely and also never home. They've got the cute little three year old who wants nothing more to keep up with her big football playing brothers and the mom who, despite being perpetually tired out, mothers every kid in the neighborhood and throws the best block parties ever.

Opposite catty corner is a new family that are only just now moving in.  I'm calling them the Vampire Family.

And then next to us we have the other three year old (who's learning to ride her first big-kid bike right now), the day-working military mum, and the ten year old boy who plays saxaphone in the street in the evenings.

Neighbors are weird, man.

Who did you meet today?

P.S.
I had to look up, "Is it kitty corner or catty corner," because my mom thought it must be, 'kitty'.   Apparently, 'kitty', 'catty', and 'cater' corner are all acceptable, while 'caddy' is not.  #TheMoreYouKnow

Barnes 'n' Noble People: Pt 2

Click here for part one

• The guy with the haircut I would describe as a cross between “weed wacker” and “friendly hedgehog”, telling a long-winded stories about chicks (no, not the bird) to an semi-unwilling looking guy wearing an unfortunate shade of yellow
• A teenage girl with the poofiest dark hair, a coral business jacket and a beautiful floral skirt, and a cat headband who is now my fashion model for the next forever
• The poor, poor tutor that has to put up with a student who hasn’t just mastered the art of procrastinating, he’s destroyed it and become the next-gen procrastinator
• The barista’s face when he heard my mom ask for a pumpkin spice latte
• The guy whose hair was longer than mine and was at least twice my height (not literally; he’d have to be  really tall).  His arm was a sleeve of twisted tattoos; he was wearing a skull-emblazoned t-shirt, punk boots, and skinny jeans, and honestly looking so much more fabulous than me

Who did you meet today?

People You See at Barnes n Noble (An On-Going List)

Sometimes you don't see people who are that weird.  Other times...you see somebody you could only define as, "a character".  I see many of these, "characters," and decided to start writing them down, because... reasons.  Here's the ones I saw, just today:

• The balding man with reading glasses and sunglasses, a no-sleeve cameo shirt, running shorts, and crocs with mix-matched socks reading “The Art of War” (he also had a stack of other books, including history books on both World Wars)
• The equally balding man who sat behind me for 2+ hours reading the same copy of Top Gear, held within inches of his face
• The two black women who loudly marched in, yelled, “OH MY GAWD” when they realized Barnes and Noble was out of cookies (note: this was at 8:30 on a Friday night), complained for five minutes about the apparently lack of cookies and how, “I didn’t need a cookie but oh my gawd I wanted one so bad,” and then abruptly left
• The 20-something blonde who bought a grande coffee and then proceeded to march her stroller around the lobby/cafe space (in four inch heels!) in an attempt to make her crying child sleep (she then left with her presumed husband, chatting about how tired she was)
• Me, who, if you see me, is usually on my laptop, writing (a.k.a. looking frustrated, confused, or hitting my head against the table as I scroll through a document)

Who did you meet today?

Evening Walk

Today my dog and I went for a walk, because it was nice out and why not?  While I didn't meet any one, per say, I did people watch along the way.  Here's some of the most noteable:

-one older lady who I can only describe as "the golf mom" with a visor, polo shirt, kakie shorts, a schnauzer, and a six year old

-Two mopy teenage girls pretending like they weren't swinging on the swings (because enjoying things that were fun as a child isn't cool)

-a man sitting on his front porch next to I kid you not the American flag made of Christmas lights, the size of a door turned sideways.  I can only imagine what his neighbors go through at night

-a teenager sitting in his drive way, back to the garage door, texting.  No clue why, you okay dude?

-an abundance of beautiful chalk art on many different sidewalks

-a group of friends playing volley ball - good for them!  They probably drink smoothies and go for early morning jogs together as well, and I applaud them for it

There weren't many people out, since I went out when it was starting too cool off and the sun was setting, but that just means the people who I did see stuck in my brain more.  Who did you see today?

Listening to:  s4 Sherlock's soundtrack

Barnes & Noble

My family go to Barnes & Noble a lot.  And by a lot, I mean enough that people have started to recognize us, and in return, we've started to regconize them.

I usually write these posts after-the-fact, looking back on my memories of an occasion.  But I didn't feel much like reading tonight, so when we made our weekly trip to the bookstore, I decided to bring my laptop and do a bit of 'live' posting.  Of course, I'm not really posting this live; you're reading this through the magic of the internet and writing.  Cool, isn't it?  So let's harness that magic a bit:

I'm sitting in the back corner of the cafe, and from here, I have a lovely view of the sleepy people that trail in on a Tuesday evening.  To the right of me is my father, back against the wall as he types wildly (looks like he's writing an imporant email, judging by the way he keeps sighing and rubbing his forehead).  There's a pretty girl a couple tables down with her headphones in and a highlighted book in front of her; she looks like she's been here a while.  A water bottle, mug, and laptop are strewn across the table in front of her.  Her bangs keep falling in her eyes as she reviews the pages.

To my right is a guy with a coffee and a stack of books that he's not reading.  He's scruffy, a bit of beard sprinkling his chin as he focuses on his phone.  I'm not one to judge; I'm surrounded by thousands of books and I'm writing, not reading

There's a busty woman with hair like a volcano made of fluff walking off, a lanyard in hand, and another man ordering at the cafe (hopefully he's not trying to use a starbucks giftcard.  PSA:  B&N doesn't accept starbucks giftcards.  Save the card, save a barista's life)

A man with silver hair, librarian glasses, and shorts that are just a bit to short just lumbered down the side aisle.  He looks friendly, like he just came from the beach (his flip flops attest to that.  Life that party life, man).   He crossed paths with a woman with a ponytale and gum I can hear her chewing from twenty feet away.

The only other occupied table is claimed by a tutor with the patience of a rock and a student whose study habits are so bad they simultaneously horrify and impress me.  They've been here multiple times, and as far as I know, no studying has occured yet, though they seem to be getting along well, dicussing politics and facts.  Still, the tutor remains patient, calm.  It's honestly impressive.  If I were a little bald guy with bifocals and a student like that, I'd have strangled them long before today.  The student and I have chatted a few times, just the normal 'hey how's it going, have a nice day now'.

Those are the only people in the cafe, but more people are filtering in as the evening picks up speed; there's a few more hours of business time, after all.  This is my world, right now - and you saw it all, through magic.

Who did you meet today?

Church People

Every Sunday I attend a local church with my family, and every Sunday I see new people.  Since we sat in the back on this particular morning, I had a lovely view of all the various people that I hadn't noticed before, including (though definitely not limited to):

-a girl no younger than five in a fancy dress, with a purse and her hair done up nicely,....barefoot
-a boy walking down the aisle with a pencil in his ear (pointy side in!)
-a woman in a full-blown veil (it was a very pretty veil)
-a baby who I swear was cosplaying as a strawberry
-a family of all guys who came in twenty minutes late in sports jerseys
-at least fifty people who left before Mass was over (and not even subtly)
-and finally, a guy who slept through the entire Mass, and as far as I know, never woke up*

*I wrote this as I was watching people file out, since we had to stay late.  The man eventually did wake up, and we realized that he was most likely homeless (judging by his attire and the fact that he was carrying a shopping back filled with miscellanious items).  He's in my prayers, and I'm glad he feels safe enough at our church to sleep.  God bless!

Who did you meet today?

Adventures with Kids (Episode 4)

Girl #1:  Do you have a boyfriend?
Me:  No.  Remember, you were very shocked about that?
#1:  Oh yeah.  When are you getting one?
Me:  *glare*
#2:  Yeah, when are you?
Me:  Next time I go to the store, I'll be sure to buy one
#1:  oh okay

* a little while later *

#1:  What are you going to name him?
Me:  Chris Evans

Adventures with Kids (Episode 3)

(Completely out of the blue, with no warning or pretense) Girl #2: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me:  No
#2:  Why not?
Me: *no answer*
#1: Aren't you an old person?
Me:  I'm 15
#1:  Yeah, an old person.  So why don't you have a boyfriend?
Me:  haven't met the right guy yet
#3:  What if we found you the right guy?
Me:  um
#3:  Here, take this pen.  This is your boyfriend.
#1:  His name is Tim
#3:  Now kiss him
Me:  ...let's get back to the lesson

Adventures with Kids (Episode 2)

I always art tutor on request - they request something, and I teach them how to draw it, repeat, for an hour a week.  They get entertainment and babysitting, I get paid...it's a pretty sweet gig.  The only sad part is the questions I have to put up with.

On this particular occassion, Girl #1 had reqested...a pug.  We finished up and she looked at her drawing and just let out this awful squealling noise before hugging her notebook.

Me: ???
Girl #2:  She does that
Girl #3:  She gets pug happy
#1: I T S JUST SO C U T E!!!!!
Me:  ...okay then
#2:  I'm that way about- about, um, about-
#3:  I like seals
#2:  puppies.  No, not really puppies, just kittens, munchkin kittens-
#3:  Or dolphins
#2:  yeah, just munchkin kittens, dogs, and chickens
#3:  What do you get happy about
Me: ...
Me: I get bucky barnes happy
#1:  what's bucky barnes?
#2:  what do you do when you see one?
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: mostly cry

Adventures with Kids

There's these little girls that I give art lessons...they say some strange, strange things, and I decided it was time to write down the funniest.  (Girl #1 and 2 are both eight and #3 is six, in case you were wondering)

Girl #1:  Do you have a phone?
Me:  No
Girl #2:  Why not?  I have a phone
Girl #3:  Yeah same
Girl #1:  Do you parents not want you to have a phone?  Is that why?
Me:  Actually, they'd let me get a phone...if I wanted one
#2:  Why don't you want a phone?
Me:  I don't find them useful
#1:  But-
Me:  Everything a phone does, my computer can do
#3:  Wh-wh-wh-what about calling people?  A computer can't do that?
Me:  We have a home phone
#3:  Oh
#1:  But what if your home phone is stolen
Me:  There's six of them, it's highly unlikely
#2:  But what if they're ALL stolen
Me:  Then I can use my mom's cell phone

*there is silence for a while*

#2:  what about when you get married and you need to make a call?
Me: ...
Me: ...I think I'll have a phone by the time I get married

Woman in a Yellow Skirt

I went to a wedding in the past few weeks and had a chance before hand to just sit and look around.  Most of them were generally familiar faces of distant family members (oooooh you've gotten so tall!  How's school, dear, what do you want to be when you get older?) but since it was a wedding, there was a whole host of people I had never seen before, including this woman.

She was pretty, in an worn-out sort of way.  Her hair was tossed strawberry blonde and she wore the wrinkles on her face like a war paint.  It did not matter that her clothes (a hot pink + sunshine yellow skirt and blazer combo) were the boldest colors alive; she was bold, with pink lipstick painted on emotionless lips.

I don't know if I described her like I should, because I never spoke a word to this woman.  But she sat directly across from my family, and she never once looked over at me.  Her lips remained pinched the whole time, and she sat alone.  Not even during the wedding did she whisper how pretty the bride was to her equally bold partner, for none showed up.

After the wedding, she vanished, slipping by while I was held back for pictures.  But I hope she's out there, with loved ones, happy, because she seemed so bold and lonely and prim at the wedding.  Nobody should be alone at a wedding, nobody.

Who did you meet today?

The People Who Never Look Up

I went on a trip recently, which was the reason there was no posts, sorry about that.  The funny thing is, my family and I drove our RV on our vacation, using it both as our main source of transportation and as our home for the two (separate) weeks we were gone.

This isn't so much a post about this one person I met, but rather a hoard of people I saw, just driving by.  You see, when you have a good 50+ hours to kill with no internet connection, you've got four options:

1. Sleep (I did lots of that)
2. Try to entertain yourself via drawing, writing, or singing along to the radio (mostly made me carsick, but I still did some of that!)
3. Try to accomplish schoolwork (Lord forbid, be responsible?!)
4. People watch

And me being an a-social blogger who draws people she sees and doesn't talk at parties, you can guess what I did in my many hours of spare time.  That's right, watch the people in the cars as they drove by our giganto RV.

I saw old women who probably had guns in their glove boxes, buff eighteen wheeler drivers eating Subway sandwiches, Indian women talking and/or yelling at each other in rapid-fire speech while some poor mustached man sat there trying to make it through traffic, a scary-looking bald guy with a chihuahua in his lap, a corgi in the passenger seat, and what looked like a German shepherd in the back, and dozens of children (both in the back seat AND in the front seat -_- ), most of them playing on their phones.

And none of them look up.

None of them even look out the window.

None of them are taking in the world around them.  In fact, a lot of them were quiet literally asleep.  And don't get me wrong, I slept for probably a good 50-65% of the trip, but I mean...not even a, "Oh hey, look, there's a giant RV trundling past."

Not that I want to be stared at, but it's an odd sort of thing - we live in a world so jam-packed with THINGS and STUFF.  There is so much to see and learn and hear and you'll never see any of it if you spend a car trip playing the newest addicting game on your iPhone 8.72S (whatever the heck is the new one right now).

So next time you're a passenger in a car, or you're stuck in a traffic jam, or hey, maybe passing an RV, look up.  Smile at some one passing by.  You don't know what you'll see, and maybe it'll be boring, but maybe you'll see something that'll stick with you your whole life.

Just don't be one of the People Who Never Look Up.

And on that dramatic note:  who did you meet today?

An Artsy Extrovert

So I took a quiz recently and discovered that I'm...not extroverted, like I thought for years.  As of right now, I'm a bit more ambiverted, which means I'm right down the middle, torn between people and alone time.  From what I can tell, most people are extroverts, but tend to be somewhat reserved.  A seven on a scale of one to ten.

But every so often, you meet somebody that's really, truly, and completely extroverted.  And that was this girl that I met in art class.

Brief context description time!  *transition music*  In my art class, we set up our own easels, which means we pick our location in the class room.  Since I'm usually there early, I don't get a chance to chose who ends up next to me, which is actually pretty cool in my opinion.  It gives me an opportunity to meet people I wouldn't normally talk to, which brings me back to the subject today (only took me three paragraphs to actually get to it :P )

With a leather vest and Pokemon patterned hat, this girl walked in like she owned the place.  I don't know why, but I was avoiding her loud voice for the past few weeks of classes, but when she ended up next to me, I realized there was no pride or aggression on her lips, only friendliness, Hamilton quotes, and questions for the art instructor.  She was a really good artist too, with a style completely different from mine.  I didn't catch her name, but she didn't need one - she was a force unto herself.  I won't be mistaking her for anybody else, name or not.

Who did you meet today?